Relinquish Control or Die: Ages 18-21 Series


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

3 John 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth.”

If this is true, so is:

“I have no greater sadness than to hear that my children are NOT walking in Truth.”

It used to be that bad kids from bad families did bad things and got into serious trouble. Now it can be good kids from good families who are enticed into doing terrible and destructive things. No matter how good a parent you have been, your adult children can still be impacted by the dark side of today’s culture.

One of the hardest things about being a parent is watching someone you love so much go through the treacherous roads of life, knowing you can’t possibly protect them from everything. I guess it’s in those times all we can do is remember they don’t really belong to us, they are just on loan. All we can do is love them, and pray for them.

“Relinquish Control or Die”

Giving up control as a mom one baby step at a time:

God showed me where my life was out of balance. God used my kids to reveal that to me. He taught me how to relinquish control.  Because I had history with God, I knew that God was capable of being trusted. God asked me if I would trust Him with my kids. I had to be intentional about relinquishing my control. I think it’s natural for a mom to want to fix everything for her kids. I’m used to being a fix it kind of person. If you have a problem, I’ll read the book on the 10 easy ways to fix this problem and I’ll take care of it. Suddenly I was in this situation where I had absolutely no ability to fix it and I realized I had to give to the Lord with an open hand.

For most of us, relinquishment is not a one time experience. Sometimes I would relinquish my control for one minute, then I would say, “No I’d like to worry about that again, I’d like to be angry about that, or I’d like to be hurt about that again.” I realized that relinquishment would sometimes be for an hour, then I would relinquish for a whole day.

What does it look like if moms do not choose life and they refuse to relinquish control? It’s painful. Life does not always go as planned.

How would my life have been different if I had not relinquished? The events would have still been the same, but what would have been different had I not relinquished control to Jesus Christ, if I just couldn’t let go?  Our choice is either relinquish control or die.  When I say die I do not mean physical death, but rather emotional death, where for example I curl up in a ball and die emotionally, quit answering my door, quit looking at email, quit picking up the phone, quit being a youth deacon, quit being a Daughter of the King representative, quit living.

Or choose life.

It’s important that you don’t allow yourself to get too close to people who have known no pain. People who have known some pain are safer than those who have not known pain. A good friend will weep with you, and say, “I’m so sorry for you, I’m praying for you, I’m praying for your family.” Most people will think about your situation for about five minutes before they forget about you and think about their own problems. They have their own troubles and they don’t worry about us that long.

I realize that we all have similar kinds of feelings and we are not to compare each others’ pain. It’s all pain. Once we realize it’s all pain, that’s when we can begin to communicate honestly with each other and start seeking biblical solutions to the problems we are all facing. The truth is, the Bible has the answers to today’s pain.

One of the reasons that we have such a hard time relinquishing control is because our identity is in the wrong place. Tomorrow I will share how important it is that our identity be in Christ.

Forever Cheering you on to Victory in Christ.

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About Professional Parenting

Wife, mother, motivational speaker, author, counselor and teacher. I have 3 adult children and a husband of 27 years. For the past 13 years I have served the youth and their parents at Liberty Church in Marietta Georgia. I loved everything about being a mom: I loved the terrible twos, and the terrifying teens, and the cake in my hair, and the spilled punch. I loved the chaos, the noise, the craziness of tons of kids. It was everything I wanted in my life. I loved that constant overwhelming feeling of someone being completely dependent on me as well as that joyful, aweful feeling of watching that same someone just 18 years later leave me and go off in the world on their own. Interests: * Christian * wife * mom * child training * pre-teens * teenagers * youth group * young girls * young women * seasoned sisters Favorite Books: * "Praying for Your Adult Children" By: Stormie Omartian * "Life on the Edge" By Dr. Dobson (Note: This was required reading for my kids when they turned 13.)
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